The Wild Ocean

Elise. 19. Maryland.

How I Met Your Mother

Barney: I am not a smoker. I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I’m with Germans, sometimes those two overlaps, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day The Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course - wait for it- ‘cause Lord knows I have, pregnancy scares.

Ted: Why are you smoking right now?

Barney: I’m always pre-coital, Ted.

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